Energy and the tasks required for the day often are a delicate balancing act when you have a chronic illness. It is difficult to commit to future plans because you are unsure of what your energy level will be at that time. If you are like me you fear being considered unreliable. Sometimes our friends and family members don't understand our inability to be spontaneous or make long term plans.
Counselors would try to explain my energy balance like a chequing account. Energy deposited and energy withdrawn. It is a very understandable analogy. Unfortunately it didn't really convey to my friends and family the actual cost of those deposits and withdrawals on me physically.
The best way to explain this came to me when I read Christine Miserandino's explanation to a friend of how her energy balance was effected by her Lupus. As she sat in a diner she grabbed a handful of spoons and The Spoon Theory was born. Please read the entire story at her site by clicking this link. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf
Since sharing The Spoon Theory with family and friends I sometimes get comments such as, "Have you used all your spoons today?" or "Will that activity cost you too many spoons?" or "Are you saving up spoons to be able to attend the wedding?" It has become a an energy level shorthand that we share. I feel acknowledged and understood by those closest to me.
Energy levels and finding balance will always be a part of my life. Finding a way to explain these issues in an uncomplicated way has been a real blessing in my life.
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A friend cam up to me at church and handed me a plastic spoon with the words understanding and love printed on it. It took me a moment to make the connection to The Spoon Theory. She told me it was an extra spoon for me. I am going to attach a magnet to it and put on my fridge door. What a sweet and thoughtful memento to remind me of my energy spoons and how friends can make a difference in my life.
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